January 2010
1 post
WatchPlease enjoy this sketch that my friends and I made.
(I realize I haven’t updated Craigslisting in forever. This is because I have a real job. I plan on posting again in the near future.)
September 2009
1 post
Published Poet
Some poet!
Rocking Chair Very Haunted
I don’t know but I think this guy was messing with me. SERIOUS SELLERS ONLY ON CRAIGSLIST, PLEASE.
August 2009
2 posts
ONION-TRAINER™
Had another great idea for a great product. I think this is going to take off in a big way and you all are the first to see it!
«ATTACHMENT: ONION-TRAINER.JPG»
So then I emailed this publicist that I met a while ago on Craigslist to get help promoting the ONION-TRAINER™:
«ATTACHMENT: SALESPITCH.DOC»
LOOK FOR THE ONION-TRAINER™ AT A BUCKS COUNTY PET STORE NEAR YOU!
July 2009
1 post
HOLY CRAP: The founder of Craigslist just tweeted...
So, I tweeted this:
And Craig Newmark, THE FOUNDER OF THE INTERNET CLASSIFIEDS WEBSITE CRAIGSLIST.ORG, tweeted back at me:
I THINK MY “O,” “M,” AND “G” KEYS JUST BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys, should I tell him about Craigslisting!? I mean, on the one hand, maybe Craig would get a kick out of it, right? But on the other hand, maybe he’ll sue...
June 2009
3 posts
Michael Jackson Tickets
ABC, RIP
10 hours later…
Why I didn't post for a month
I realize posts have been sparse lately. This is because I just moved to New York City and have been setting up my life and starting a new internship. If you’re angry about the lack of updates you should check out the Best of Craigslisting and the Complete Archives. And if you live in New York you could buy me a beer and explain to me in person why I suck and am lazy. As things settle...
NOW
May 2009
8 posts
Willing to Travel
Seriously, though, can anyone help my buddy Samuel out in this situation?? -A.L.
Stop Motion
Andrew tries for a starring role…
YOUTUBE VIDEO:
Fight
Please come watch my fight. -A.L.
«ATTACHMENT: FIGHT.JPG»
«ATTACHMENT: ADRIANLEWIS.JPG»
WatchJust hangin’ out at my parents’ house in Vermont, bored. (More of my videos here.)
Need witness
But apparently not that badly.
-A.L.
I feel ashamed...
…but I can literally think of nothing funny to respond to this amazing post. I think it might almost be too funny on its own. Any ideas?
NCPID
SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING
Guys,
Sorry for not updating this blog lately. I realize you like it, and I like doing it. It’s just that I’m in the middle of moving to NEW YORK CITY right now and have been pretty occupied with packing and saying goodbye to all my girlfriends (which is hard when they don’t know you’re dating!) Anyway, I’m at a point now where I can start doing this again. So,...
April 2009
6 posts
Bare Feet
Andrew has an adventure in foot fetishism. Feet are probably the biggest fetish on Craigslist, right after BDSM, elbows, large women, latinos, mature, golden showers, leather, exhibitionism, swinging, brooms, etc. (thanks to Nate Flagg for the illustration!) -A.L.
Cooking Show
Pre-order your copy of my forthcoming cookbook, Now You’re Cooking with Questionable Ingredients!, and get a free grab bag of highly expired foodstuffs. -A.L.
«SEE ALSO: Food Network (Video)»
Nosejob
Andrew gives some rhinoplastic advice. -A.L.
1 tag
Patches
Tryouts for the Westover Heights Girls Varsity Waterboarding team start next Friday, 6:30 am. -A.L.
«ATTACHMENT: WATERBOARDING.JPG»
«ATTACHMENT: PATCH.JPG»
«ATTACHMENT: SLATCH.JPG»
Wanna get pregnant?
This guy has a very generous offer. -A.L.
(Thanks to Sue for the tip. If you find any weird Craigslist posts please email: repletewithadrian@gmail.com)
Sweaty Clothes
Andrew has a fluid-filled adventure. Bring a mop or a bucket or a broom or something… -A.L.
March 2009
7 posts
Ghost Writer
Still waiting for this guy to get back to me about my book proposal. (If anyone steals this proposal I am going to be really pissed, so don’t, please.) -A.L.
Hypnosis Student
Dr. Peterson almost got a new hypnosis student… -A.L.
<ATTACHED IMAGE: INNERSELF.JPG>
PREVIOUSLY: Wall Art
(Thanks to reader “Comeback Kid” for the tip. Send potential adventures to: repletewithadrian@gmail.com)
Unhappily Married
Andrew is back! -A.L.
Revenge, Craigslist Style
My friend Jesse was wronged by his girlfriend. He decided to do the emotionally healthy thing and get over her… right after he sold all of her instruments on Craigslist. (Hi, Jesse’s ex-girlfirend!) -A.L.
THE OFFERS:
THE SALE:
What bitter coins were traded for revenge? Here’s Jesse:
Scam targeted at asians who want to be slaves
So I responded to an ad and it turned out to be just a scam targeted at Asians who want to be slaves. A revolutionary new marketing strategy?
-A.L.
(Thanks to Kenneth for tipping me off to this post. If you find any good posts please email: repletewithadrian@gmail.com)
Here is the email I got back from “Amanda,” annotated to show my thoughts as I read the email:
You want to...
Kids say the darndest things
I don’t like kids very much, but the other day I contributed to this guy’s book about funny things kids say. And they do say some funny things!
-A.L.
Cornucopia Hat
Now, this is a hat. I’ve found these hats are good for a lot of things including:
Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving-themed parties.
Getting crows to land on your head.
-A.L.
February 2009
15 posts
READER CHALLENGE: We made an army
Comrades: Good job with the Reader Challenge. We just gave our country a massive and well-equipped submarine to use in the Underwater War on Drugs or whatever they’re calling it these days. According to my made up calculations, we sent Militiaman over seven hundred applications for his anti-drug squadron:
(full post here)
APPLICATIONS TO JOIN THE MILITIA
Emilio sent in this application...
READER CHALLENGE: Abort mission
READER CHALLENGE UPDATE: OK, men (and a few women). Commenter Pete says Militiaman is onto us—and, apparently, he doesn’t appreaciate all the interest in his organization. He never even responded to my email! It’s like you can’t even volunteer for a paramilitary organization these days without someone getting all paranoid on you.
This mission is officially ending today;...
Feeder Pigs
***NOTE***PLEASE PARTICIPATE IN THE READER CHALLENGE***NOTE***
FYI: Andrew still has some feeder pigs if anyone is interested. They’re real cute.
-A.L.
***NOTE***PLEASE PARTICIPATE IN THE READER CHALLENGE***NOTE***
READER CHALLENGE: Let's form a militia
Readers of Craigslisting, you have helped me out before, and now I have another challenge for you. I found this ad on the San Francisco Craigslist, posted by a guy who wants to form a militia comprised of “a small elite group of men (and a few women)” to drive out the mexican drug cartel that he says controls large swaths of Livermore, CA. According to this modern day minuteman,...
I was found out
Looks like ‘Mr. Grey’ can use Google.
OK, so a lot of you have been following the on-going Enigma saga, which began when I found a weird riddle on Craigslist. With a lot of help from commenters I solved the riddle and emailed one “Mr. Grey” under a pseudonym. He then sent me another puzzle, along with a mysterious (and supposedly lucrative) offer. But now my cover is...
Little People
It has been a few weeks, but my friend John “Andrew” Thomspon is back. He sent me this adventure which features a lot of INAPPROPRIATE CAPITALIZATION -A.L.
Thanks, Cracked.com
Hi everyone who came from Cracked.com, which is apparently some kind of humor website? You should check out the best adventures here and tell all your friends about this website and use complex computer GPS software to locate me and buy a discount plane ticket to my hometown and surprise me while I sleep and buy me a beer. -A.L.
Vendors Wanted
Just wanted to let everyone know that if they’re looking for vendors for their farmers market/craft fair/trade show/birthday party I am available as long as they can provide a card table and a 12 x 12 fenced-in enclosure -A.L.
«ATTACHMENT: TINYTOILERZ.JPG»
(SEE ALSO: TinyToilers)
1 tag
The Enigma, Part IV: A NEW PUZZLE
(Part I)(Part II)(Part III)
So, you remember how a few days ago readers decoded this strange post I found on Craigslist? Now things are getting even weirder. The Professor responded to the Craigslist ad and got some cryptic emails from this guy “Mr. Grey”. And, anyway, now there’s a new puzzle:
«ATTACHMENT: ALLOGO.JPG»
I uploaded a full-size version of the...
Do you need a kidney?
***NOTE: 2/14*** Original post was missing an email; this is fixed. ***NOTE: 2/14***
Yes, I do. Too bad this didn’t work out. -A.L.
1 tag
The Enigma, Part III: SOLVED
SOLVED
(Part II)
The Mystery of the Enigma is one step closer to being solved: “AEQUITAS LAURIFER” are what the words are. Thank you Aaron, my new hero. You must be some kind of brave doctor or a really smart firefighter? What I’m saying is he’s courageous and intelligent, ladies.
I’m giving this adventure to The Professor because he knows about this kind of...
1 tag
The Enigma, Part II: THE MACHINE
The Enigma Machine
(Part I)
OK: “Enigma” was the big clue to solving this I think. It’s talking about the “Enigma machine,” like Rizam thought it was. The Enigma machine was used by the Germans in WWII to code their messages and the Allies cracked it eventually and it helped them win the war and the rest is boring, boring history:
“The ...
1 tag
The Enigma, Part I
Um so I just found this craigslist post and I would like to have an adventure but I don’t know what the words are. Please help. -A.L.
NEW CLUE, 4:55pm: I just read on Wikipedia that the headquarters of the Skull and Bones fraternity at Yale is called the “tombs”. George W. Bush was in the Skull and Bones and there was that stupid movie! This is their logo or whatever…...
Guilt-wracked about posting post
I feel bad about not posting more often. It’s a lot of pressure having a blog some people actually read! I am setting a goal for three posts per week from now on. It’s down in writing now, so that means it’s real. Wish me luck.
Physics for $$$ [**Updated 2/4**]
Whew, been a while. Welcome back, me. I’ve been busy helping out a struggling student with her physics. (I’m still waiting for my $$$!!!) -A.L.
January 2009
15 posts
1 tag
Traditional Witches
TO SARAH:
THE NEXT DAY…
SEE ALSO: Art Photographer
POLL: Is this Racist?
Just came across this post:
I read a ton of funny racist things on Craigslist, but I don’t know about this one. I’m not familiar with the racist Latina stereotypes… is it that they have big nostrils or something? Or is this simply a case of a normal man with a harmless but racialized nose-picking fetish? What’s going on here? Is this racist or not? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
Park Bench
Andrew takes a bite out of crime:
Outback Gift Card
Andrew has an adventure in co-branding:
«ATTACHMENT: CIGS.JPG»
Massage trade
After Stephanie’s stunning defeat, Andrew bounces back via an adventure with a suspiciously enthusiastic masseuse:
«ATTACHMENT: MAP.JPG»
Stephanie's shattered dream
Polls have official closed in the Quinceanera of Your Dreams Contest, and I have some bad news: It seems that our efforts to help Stephanie Chavez win the Quinceanera of her dreams were not enough. Last I checked, at 11pm Pacific Standard time, Stephanie was down more than 600 votes to her rival Abigail Martin. Things look bleaker than the bleak novel by bleak writer Charles Dickens, Bleak...